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Feb. 27th, 2008

Hi, triteness? Here we come.

Dear Jesus,

I miss you. We should talk more, because I think you have insightful, helpful things to say. I also don't quite understand why we're supposed to talk to you. You and God are omniscient, so why should I have to say anything? You know what I need, what I want, even when I don't. Why don't you just sat "Wham-o! Here's one portion this, one portion that, with a side of etc." If you know so much, why don't you help me out? Or help out people that need it more than I do? Eh? Eh?

How do I make sure that I'm not making Christianity one of my "trends of the moment" like television shows and half-finished craft projects? I get really into it for about a month, and then either 1) something theological comes up that puts me off it completely [speaking in tongues, transubstantiation, salvation by faith alone, predestination, etc.] 2) I overanalyze something that shouldn't be that big of a deal 3) trying to reconcile science with religion. It's a beast that has rolled around in jam, then in sticker-burs, that then tries to give me a hug. Beast, I will embrace you, but at least take a shower first. Really bizarre analogies, ftw.

I look for myself in everything, and have a severely addictive personality. I'll latch onto the idea that friends, Television, Sci-Fi, alcohol, whatever, can show me who I am, and what my place is in the world. Really. I could become an alcoholic at the speed of light. I've only ever been drunk twice in my life, but it's something I just...know...That losing myself in something to uncover what I am at the core just amazes me. I just wish I could do that with religion instead. So I'm comfortable all the time, instead of just presenting microsections of layers to everyone. I need a vegetable peeler or something.

Love,
Me.